D-day

I am scrambling to get ready this morning, but of course I had to make time for my blog. I probably packed WAAYYY too much stuff, but I'm not sure what to expect. I guess my main dread at this point is hooking up to the port in Summer's chest. After that, hopefully they will give and take everything from that. I did have a friend who gave me some good advice about having Summer distracted with a book or picture when they do that. I am planning on having Mother Goose Rhymes by my side. :) Not sure it will work, but it is worth a try.

Yesterday Summer asked me, "Mommy, why do I have cancer?" We were riding home from the gym and I was sitting in the back seat with her (a rare treat for her). It caught me off guard. She really does hear everything we say and thinks about it although she doesn't always understand it. I didn't really know what to tell her, but I just told her that God was seeing if she was strong enough to beat it or something along those lines. I wonder what other thoughts are going through her head. If I am scared to death, I know she is too.

She told me she wants me to sleep in her bed with her at the hospital. She even told Daddy he could sleep with us too. Can you imagine all three of us snuggled up in a hospital bed all night long? You may not know this, but I am NOT a peaceful sleeper. I toss and turn all night long. ALL NIGHT LONG!!! I hope I will be able to sleep peacefully in the hospital. I'm sure I will be worn out - mentally and physically. I already have a headache today. That is not common for me, so it must be the stress of it all.

I hope I don't gain five pounds from this hospital stay, but I wouldn't doubt it. I have been eating like a mad woman. I am hoping it will get old soon, but all of these sugary things just keep my tongue wanting more. Maybe that's why I've got this headache. I swear I have been forcing down junk non-stop. Oh well, there are worse things in life. :)

We had an awesome day yesterday. We went to the gym, had lunch with friends, visited the playground, ate ice cream, walked across the bridge, talked/played with friends, ate sushi, and last, but not least, watched Barney. She still loves his videos more than any others we own. She fell asleep in our floor when we took over the TV and Clint carried her to bed.

I am hoping to make today a fun one although I really don't know what to expect. I have everything, including the kitchen sink, packed. LOL Now I just need to get some make-up on and head to the car. Please pray for us today. We are all scared about what the day, and weeks ahead, will bring.