Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Reality sets in

This morning I went for a walk and had a small breakdown. Tears finally came, but thank goodness for mixed playlists on Ipods! Some of the songs on my Ipod, which ironically I just downloaded the week before this happened, were Bless the Broken Road, My Little Girl, It's Your Love, Let It Go and Swing. Thank God for that last one it brought me out of the land of tears. I started thinking about losing my little girl. What would I do? What have I done wrong? Am I a bad person? What can I do to make it right? All these thoughts just flooded my head and I am left with no answers. Very frustrating!

Today we will get answers though. I am nervous about what they are going to say. Scared that whatever they do will not work. I'm just so damned scared!!!

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers today and everyday! I'll be updating later this afternoon with the results.


Bridgett said...

Oh honey...I think, as mothers, we all feel that way, even when our child isn't diagnosed with cancer. It's okay to cry and rage at the fates. In fact, it might be just what you need to do.

This is nothing you did. It's simply a mutated cell that happened to cause cancer in your daughter's kidney.

Stay strong, sweetie. I'm thinking of you guys everyday.

Please update as soon as you can...


Stephanie said...

I absolutely can't imagine what you're going through right now. I think losing it and crying would be very high on my list though. I am praying for you and your precious little girl today!

ashleyjnc said...

Been following, was just wondering how the biopsy went.

Brent Riggs said...

We know what you are going through, and we have encouraged and helped many people that our in our type of situation. Check out our sites, and if you want to talk further, email me.

Blessings, Brent (Abby's Dad)

Stephycce said...