Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A little rant

I am so utterly tired from having a sick little girl. It is exhausting to spend day after day at the hospital and then come home and not have her feeling much better. Being wanted every second. But, not by a happy camper. Oh, no! A whining and sad little girl really tears on your heart.

Clinic visits are an all day affair. Plus, lots of unfun stuff going on there: finger pricks, shots, port accessing. Luckily most of the drugs are given IV so at least I don't have to force them down her throat. Even though she likes Tylenol (grape), it is sometimes hard to get her to take it when she is feeling crummy. Lately she has started emptying the syringe into her mouth by herself which seems to make it a little better for her. Whatever works for her works for me. Well, not always. Sometimes I have to be the bad guy and do what is best for her.

Oral meds are no fun either, especially with a nauseated child. How do you force your child who can't eat anything to take meds? And, keep them down? I've used many tactics, but none of them are what I would consider fun. I feel like I am torturing my own child. It is so hard to do that too. But, I do what I have to do. Sometimes that means stepping back and not forcing. Those are good times, but I can't always do that.

That's it. Just wanted to get a few things off my chest.

Must tend to the girl watching Barney's Pajama Party in my bed. :)


Anonymous said...

Hang in there sis, you really are doing a great job with Summer:) Remember, no one is perfect...we can only give our best to the Lord for Him to use and He will work it out, He will! We have a ladies meeting at church tonight and we will say a special prayer...for you especially. I am praying for you continually!! I love you so very much and want to help in any way I possibly can;)
Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you"

Bridgett said...

Rant away, my friend.

You deserve to...many, many times, in fact.

I can't imagine this journey you're on, nor do I want to...but I can tell you you've earned my utmost admiration for the way you've handled Summer's illness. You've been a rock for Summer and have kept your sunny, positive attitude through the whole thing so far.

Big hugs to you!

Susie said...

Go ahead and let out all your frustration, you deserve that and more. You are such a great mother. Summer is lucky to have you. Just hang in there and no that it is hard but just keep thinking you are over half way there. I will keep you in my prayers for strength & patience.

the mol said...

It all sucks. Really.

And if you can imagine, it has been said that I sit at home all day and don't need help. As if I left my job that I love just to sit at home and eat bonbons.

Our lives are just ripped to bits and we subject our kids to so much, just to make them better.

I'm "here" for you. And sometimes it is hard to be strong, I know.

Stephanie said...

I absolutely cannot imagine what you,Clint or Summer is going through right now. I think of you often and am praying for Summer and your entire family!

Just know that you are doing an awesome job...you are such an amazing mother to Summer and I know that she loves you more than you'll ever know for everything you've done for her. You deserve to unload every now and then...heck everyday if you wanted to :)


Stephanie said...

Good for you, getting all of that out of your head. You definitely deserve to rant.

Kristi J said...

OH my goodness, you always seem to show such a strong face, it amazes me that you don't let off steam to us more often. It's good to get everything off your chest, and just unload it all..let God take it from you. He's holding you all in His arms, and I hope you feel so many lifting you in prayer.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jennifer:

I read your blog regularly just to keep up with how things are going. You’re on a tough road and sometimes you have to rant. Sometimes you need to know that people understand and sometimes it helps to have reassurance that you’re doing a good job. Well you are doing a GREAT job. Just know that you and Summer and Clint are in our thoughts and prayers always.

Bill P.

Stephycce said...