It's that time again

Today is scan day for my little girl. I will not be able to be there with her as she gets her ECHO and CT scan. I'm sad I won't be the one holding her hand, but that just wasn't possible since I'm with her Daddy at the hospital over 100 miles away. Am I nervous? Yep. It's only 6:20 a.m. here, and I can't sleep anymore. There is nothing I can do but sit here and wait. And, worry. I'm going to try to do as little of the latter as possibly, but she is my one and only. There isn't much to distract me here either. I've got a book which I might get lost in for a few hours, but she'll never be far from my thoughts.

I got to talk to her last night and she is sounding like such a big girl on the phone. Her voice sounds older. Why is it so hard to watch your baby turn into a little big girl? Last year, this is the week my baby started having blood in her urine. She was so innocent then, and now she has seen pain and suffering that a lot of other kids will never have to know (Lord willing). Her puffy baby cheeks are long gone. Her excitement to go to the doctor (yes, she was excited last year when we first went to the doctor to see why she was peeing blood) is definitely gone. Today she is hungry, but unable to eat until after her CT scan is done. I guess I am lucky in that respect that I don't have to listen to her repeat over and over how she wants to eat. Oh, but I do wish I was with her. I miss her so much having not seen her since last Friday.

Yesterday, my aunt Leisa took her to Playgym so she could be part of the Valentines party. I asked her if she had fun and she said, "Oh yeah!" Tonight, Memaw and Nanny are taking her to the church Valentines party. I'm missing so much it seems, but I can't be there every moment of her life. I will be back for the official day though so hopefully we will do something fun to celebrate it together. I really hope Clint is feeling up to celebrating too.