Feeling good in the hood

Well, not actually the hood....

Summer's white counts were up to 2.3 today. Her ANC was 1,400. She has to be at 2,000 to get off the shots, so they gave her two more to get her up that high. Dr. Gratias was afraid if we stopped the shots too early, her white count might plummet down to .5 again so he wanted her to get a few more to be on the safe side. Her platelets were low, but apparently not too low at 28,000. She did bleed a bit when I gave her the shot tonight so I am hoping they do not get any lower. She has to go back later this week for another count check.

She is definitely feeling A LOT better. We went to the playground this evening which was the first time in a while. She ran and played and slid with me at her side. It was fun and SOOOOO nice to see her having so much fun and feeling good. I've almost got my little bundle of energy back! Thank the Lord!!!!

Then we went to Greenlife and picked up some organic food for dinner. Not sure it will help to eat that way only once in a while, but it was a nice treat and turned out really yummy. I really do believe that cancer is lurking all around us in our food and water. There is just too many people with it these days for it to be something that is not a product of our environment and the things we eat. Scary, but I'm going to try to not worry about it. It won't do any good.

I am being beckoned by Summer for more food. She is always hungry it seems. I wonder what she will want now. She's had baked beans, 3 string cheeses, a Nestle Crunch, a brownie, French fries, 1/2 hamburger, garlic bread, tortellini, tomatoes, and cantaloupe so far today. Baked beans it is again. That SOOO does NOT sound good to me. Chocolate, on the other hand, DOES! Maybe she'll grow out of it....LOL.

They gotta be up!

Her white counts that is. She seems to be feeling much better and having more energy. She laughed a lot this weekend which was nice. We spent Friday night in Soddy visiting with friends. Summer opted to sleep in our room in her bed rather than upstairs with Katie. She slept in her bed all night which is pretty amazing these days. Her belly always seems to start hurting at some point in the night at which time she comes to my bed for a little while or I go to hers. I am hoping those days will soon be over. Not that I mind sharing a bed with her, but it is rough to get up and down and up and down all night. Plus, anytime she is in discomfort, I feel somewhat helpless. She has been complaining less and less though. I am so tired of all of these chemo side effects taking away her joy and happy nature. I can see the light though and it feels good. I hope today was her last Neupogen shot. Ever. She has been on them almost three weeks now and not one of them was easy. I guess nothing worthwhile ever was easy.

Yesterday, we went to Willow's rock star birthday party. It was fun because the kids were dressed up and all the "cool" adults were too. There were a few lame people who showed up in their regular clothes. The kids rocked out a little with some blow up guitars while watching Hannah Montana (I think). Summer was feeling good and wasn't completely glued to my lap. Her favorite part of the cake was not the icing. Not sure where she gets that from. Maybe her Daddy? Oh well, we made a good team cleaning up all the crumbs on the plate. We left there to go home and rest before meeting up at Chilis to celebrate my granny's 77th birthday. Summer ordered the chili which was nasty to me, but great to her. She really likes chili and also baked beans right now. She will ask for baked beans for breakfast!!! She also likes mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. She'll put a little of each in her mouth and then chew it up. She's been eating (and pooping) like a horse lately. I can't keep her full!

We should be getting the results of Clint's scan sometime this week. Then next week Summer has her three scans. I must say they are the worst part of the process. The possibility of hearing the words "it's back" is scary. I will not live in fear though. God is in control!!!

Looking through the clouds

Sorry for the slacking on my part in updating the blog this week. We came home Wednesday after lunch at the hospital. Thank goodness we got to eat lunch there! LOL I must say I will not miss eating chicken fingers for lunch and dinner every day. My bacon and egg sandwich served to me every morning I just might miss though. :)

Summer's white blood counts were still nothing on Wednesday so we are still on the shots which she is putting up a big fuss about every day. I can only imagine what it feels like. No, I can't. Poor baby. We are almost through with the sickness that comes along with being treated with chemotherapy. I can't wait to have my bouncy, bubbly girl back. Or, whatever she will be. I just want to see her well and happy, loving life.

She spent the night with her Memaw last night, but she didn't really want to. She cried and told me she was scared. I know that just meant she didn't feel too good and wanted me to be close to her. But, her daddy and I had a date so I had to nudge carry her out the door with promises of picking her up after the movie should she be awake and needing me. Usually, the thought of going to Memaw's house brings on a big smile and a woo-hoo. Oh to have her well again.....

We just have to be patient right now. Everything happens in God's time. Not mine or hers. Ultimately, what He has planned is what will be. I have put it all in His hands because they are much bigger and more capable than mine. Listening to the radioathon the past day and a half has really been touching. Hearing stories just like mine, relating to the fears, the unknown. There has to be a reason God put us on this path.

I can't wait to go get my little ray of sunshine so she can brighten this day for me. It's kind of gloomy around here without her.

Another day in room 328

We are sitting in the hospital bed watching cartoons and surfing the web. Oh, what I wouldn't do to be home right now! Summer is going to be getting more platelets today. Her white blood count is .2 so it doesn't look like we will be ending the shots anytime soon. I thought that since they doubled the dose of Neupogen it would make them go up quicker, but her bone marrow is just worn out right now. I hope Dr. Keates will let us go home tomorrow, but I think Summer will have to be jumping up and down on the bed for that to happen from what she said today. I really hope she is not planning on keeping us until her white counts recover because that probably won't be until next week sometime. I just might be insane by then! LOL

Summer is eating good and hasn't been complaining about the mouth sores too much so they must be getting better. She had chili for breakfast which was followed by 1/2 a sugar cookie left over from yesterday. We are waiting on them to bring her more sugar cookies and she is not waiting patiently. She says she can't wait. Luckily, Barney is coming on so that should help to keep her distracted for another 30 minutes.

Not much else to say. Please pray that we get out of the hospital soon. She does seem to be feeling better than she was yesterday and I am thankful for that. It is no fun seeing your little one suffer.

One more night

I just found out that we got a good nurse for our last night in the hospital. :) Then I saw the "bad" nurse walk by. It made me shudder thinking we could've got her. LOL

Summer got blood today since her hemoglobin was just above 7. Her platelets were down to 40,000 so there is a possibility she will be getting some tomorrow before we go home. Probably so if they are around 20,000. If so, I hope they get an early start on that. We have been invited to a private party at the zoo tomorrow night, and I want Summer and myself to get a good nap before that.

They never came up with any reason for Summer's fever so I guess I'll just chalk it up to being part of the process. Hopefully, the end of the process. She is still on shots which she has been fighting me a little on. We are almost through though. Maybe another week or so of them.

There have been 3 more pediatric cancer diagnosis' this week at the hospital. It is so crazy and sad to see "new people" in the oncology section of the floor. My heart feels for them and I want to comfort them. Cancer is such a bummer. Why, oh why, does it have to exist in this world? God please take it away! Just as we are finishing our journey, so many others are just starting theirs. Heartbreaking.

I guess I'm going to snuggle up to Summer and finish watching Barney with her. I am hoping she will want to watch "The Tigger Movie" after it ends, but I think she might be ready for bed. She told me she was before we started the Barney movie.

Thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts. I don't know how we woul'dve gotten through the past 8 months without them. Oh yeah, scans are on November 16, 18 & 20th. NED here we come!

Home and healthy

We are home. Summer is still feeling pretty good. She has been active today playing with me and Katie. We played hide and go seek earlier which I have decided is fun and almost like a workout. We played the other day with Daddy at the hospital too. :) Now she is taking a bath in the jacuzzi tub with Katie. They had some bubble fun and hopefully I got a good pic of Summer with bubble hair. I was hoping to get pics up tomorrow, but I don't think it is going to work out that way. Most of my pics are on my other computer and I haven't been on it in days. Every day that goes by, more pics are being taken for me to choose from. Gotta preserve these precious memories as she grows up!

She hasn't eaten much today. She had 2 or 3 bites of a hot dog, one bite of pretzel, 4 or 5 bites of chicken, 2 grapes and about an ounce of chicken noodle broth. Not enough! But, she did eat something so I am not going to fret too much. I forgot to see what she weighed this morning when they weighed her. I know she was down to at least 33 when we left, maybe lower. We are a little overdue for a Zophran, but I will get her to take that after I finish this. Then we also have the 1st shot of this cycle. I've already heard an "I don't want to do it." Fun, fun.

Hopefully, she will still be feeling good tomorrow so we can all go out for a birthday lunch.

Platelets still lagging

Summer didn't make counts today. I don't know what they are, but I'm pretty sure her platelets are low. When they pricked her finger, it bled very easy. I forgot to mention that last week, Summer's last 3 shots were a breeze. She let me give them to her all by myself. She sat in my lap and didn't whine or anything. What a way to end a cycle!!! Not sure if she will make counts or not on Thursday, but I hope so because otherwise she will be in the hospital on my birthday next week (assuming her platelets have recovered). Well, I just got the numbers: ANC 1400, white count 2.8, platelets 66,000 and hemoglobin 9.1. She almost made it. Platelets just need to be 75,000 so we should be admitted on Thursday. We got out of here quick today. This post is the only thing holding us up. :)

Looks like we've got a few more days to enjoy. I say shopping we should go! Time to finish up her Halloween costume. Oh, and a yummy lunch out too!!!

Counts too low for chemo, party time!

Well, maybe not party time, but fun time this week! Summer is feeling good and eating good. She weighed 33 pounds today which is awesome. Her white counts are coming up (2.2) and she only has 3 more shots this cycle. They are still too low for public indoor activities right now (ANC 400), but will be good by the end of the week. Her platelets are still low at 20,000, but they did not give her any today. We are just waiting on them to come up now. They are not even going to try to start chemo this week. She goes back Monday for another try. I am so excited to have the rest of the week off from going to the clinic. We never get to go just once a week.

We have lots to do this week, just as we did over the weekend. Camp Agape was awesome! Summer really enjoyed it, as did Clint and myself. The Candlelighters did an awesome job with it along with the help of several churches. We did not end up spending the night, but next year we will definitely take the pop-up and stay over. They had the best petting zoo I've ever seen with a raccoon, ground hogs, chinchillas, a monkey, a parrot, bunnies, geese, chickens, miniature horse, donkey, & mule, cows, goats, a dog, a cat, pigs. Loved it! Summer's favorite part was the gingerbread house where she scored a big bag full of candy. We also left with about 5 more stuffed animals than we started with. The weather was perfect. A lot of Summer's cancer patient friends were there along with SpongeBob and Elmo. I was very impressed and honored to be there even though you gotta have a kid with cancer to go.

Summer spent Saturday night with her Memaw. She came home yesterday to find her niece Lexie here. We had a good day together playing. The neighbor even brought her baby over for a little bit. I sure do enjoy kids although I don't think I'd want a house full all the time. Can't say I don't ever want another little one myself, but the clock is ticking and I don't wanna be 40 and having a baby. I want to know my grandkids too! We'll see what life holds....one thing is for sure, you can never count on it to turn out exactly as you plan. Someone else might just have other plans.

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog!

Summer is up eating a pb & banana sandwich. She actually slept until after the sun came up today (7:15 a.m.). Yay! Sounds like Daddy is up and bugging Summer already. I am thinking about taking Summer to see her great grandad today. He hasn't been doing well lately and she is feeling well enough to go visit now so I hope he is up for it too. We might also take a trip to the playground or somewhere else fun in Trenton. Oh the choices....NOT. The town is pretty small and we could either go to the playground or a state park as I see it.

Yesterday, we went to the zoo with our friends Selena, Willow, Mo & Mason. We had a picnic lunch before we toured the zoo. Summer rode the carousel once while we were waiting on the other kids to get there. Then after the zoo, she rode it twice. Her friends wouldn't get on it with her, but I don't think she minded. She really likes the carousel. I am thinking of taking her to Lake Winnie on Sunday if she is up to it and her counts are up. She hasn't been there since she was a baby, and they will be closing up for the winter soon.

We also have more fun scheduled this weekend at Camp Agape. They are having a children's fun day which is for childhood cancer patients and their families. SpongeBob is supposed to be there. They have a gingerbread house full of candy for the kids to fill their bags with. Horseback riding, fishing, petting zoo, dunk tank, face painting....it should be fun for sure! They are also doing fireworks, a hay ride and dinner the night before. We could camp in one of their cabins on bunk beds, but I don't think I could sleep through other people's snoring and noises. We may take a pop up camper if they will let us. Already got the call in.....

Summer's belly has been hurting the past day or so, so she is back on the Zophran. She is still eating good although she will ask for some things and eat only a bite or two which is a little frustrating when you are the one who ends up finishing most of the stuff she doesn't eat. Not too good for the figure, but I am still doing the P90X dvds in the hope that exercise without dieting will still do my body good. :) I have only missed one day so far which is pretty good considering I was working out once or twice a week at the most. Summer only bugs me a little when I am doing it. It is not too annoying except during yoga when you are supposed to have a clear mind, but I am so worried she is going to start climbing me like a piece of furniture I can't clear my mind with her in the room. Or she starts singing. Or sniffing my arm pits. LOL So, anyways, at least she is eating. Now she is working on eggs and angel food cake. Her first piece since we made it two days ago. Half of the cake is gone and guess who is responsible for that. Should be an easy guess. ;P Apparently, she only likes the brown parts.

We go back to clinic tomorrow. It is supposed to be a zoo in there because they are closed today due to a COG conference. We have the earliest appt. (8:30 a.m.) and I think we might just be 15 minutes early to make sure we aren't stuck in a long queue in the waiting room. Last time our appt. was at 9:00 a.m. We got there at 8:55 a.m. and were behind at least 6 other patients. I hope her counts are up. She is very tired of the shots. She is happy to have only "one more spend the night" for chemo and "one more shot" round (usually around 20 per cycle this late in the game). We are on shot 13 for cycle 7 today. I don't really think we will make chemo next week seeing as how she should have another week of shots if the trend holds. Plus, the doctor said the heart protectant they used last cycle can also cause her blood counts to remain lower longer. Oh well, only one more cycle. PTL!!!

Another Monday at the clinic

Oh what a weekend! Summer got to camp out with her cousins and had a great time. She got to spend two nights with her Memaw just like she wanted. She has still been eating pretty good despite the mouth sores that showed up over the weekend. Yesterday, she woke up from her nap crying they were hurting so bad. She said she couldn't even swish, but after suffering for a while longer decided she would. She has two different kinds of swishing products and ended up using them both. She has only used one once because she doesn't like it. It is pink and doesn't taste good, but it numbs her mouth I think. After she tried it, she was ready to eat. I hope they go away quickly. I think they usually do so maybe by the end of the week they will all be gone. She hasn't taken her nausea medicine today and has still been eating pretty good. PTL! I have noticed that she has been a little more tired than usual the past few days, but she has not "crashed" like before. I am so thankful she is handling the chemo so well. She got her last shot of Vincristine this morning and only has one more round of chemo to go. I am excited to be at this point, but a little scared too. I know I need to let the fear go and not focus on "what if it comes back?" But, that is easier said than done. This is MY little girl we are talking about and losing her would be devastating. It is all in God's hands though and I just have to have faith that He will bring her through this so she can live a long, healthy life.

We are in the clinic now waiting on blood results (and a hamburger with fries and oatmeal raisin cookies for Summer). She has been on shots for about 10 days. They upped her dose of Neupogen to double what it was before last Thursday. I hope this means her white counts will recover quicker than they have been. I'll be glad to be done with the shots for this cycle because she still cries when she gets them and says "it will bleed." I am not really anxious to get the last chemo underway, but the earliest we could start would be next Tuesday. I highly doubt it will start then, but I have been wrong before. Once or twice. LOL

I guess I'm going to go watch Summer blog some bubbles. She finally learned how to do it today. She has had trouble adn I finally figured out it was because she was holding her lips wrong. Now that she knows to pucker and make a circle with her lips, she is a pro. She got a butterfly tent from Miss Ashley today. I can't wait to go home and set it up. I just hope she will play with her dolls in it, but I am figuring I am going to have to contort my body into some uncomfortable position for at least a little while. Should be fun no matter how it turns out!

*********UPDATE**********

Counts are back. White count is .4 and ANC is 0. Looks like we are stuck inside a few more days since her immunity is nil. She needed blood and platelets. So, she is getting the blood now which started after 3:00 p.m. We will be here until probably 6ish this evening. :( That is a long day at the clinic considering that we were here at 8:55 this morning. Looks like we will miss dinner at Chilis with Memaw & Nanny. Today is the day they donate all proceeds to St. Jude. Maybe we will just get takeout because Summer was wanting a steak last night and it sounds pretty good to me too. Clint brought me some lunch and my laptop so I have not been completely bored sitting here waiting. Summer is napping while she gets blood. Hopefully, she will not start running a fever or anything crazy to warrant another hospital stay this week. A week off would be nice for us both. Of course we have to come back to clinic on Friday for a count check to see if she can come off the shots. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be a long day like today.

Out come the blue gowns

The tests from Summer's puss came back and it is the resistant staph. Which doesn't mean too much more than it did otherwise. Only that when people come in the room now they are wearing blue gowns.....as of today. Never mind the past four days we have been here with no gowns. It is crazy to me how they can suspect something but not take any precautions until it is confirmed. Hilarious really!!! And the nurses keep telling me the hospital is probably the safest place for Summer to be.....yeah right. I do know it is best for her knowing she needs to be on IV antibiotics until her white counts are up to at least 500, but otherwise I think there are a lot more germs here than at home. Her white count was .6 today which is an ANC of about 60 they said. Yesterday, I thought they said her ANC was 120 so I guess it dropped. Your white cells are the ones that attack infections so I guess they are being used up to attack the two spots of cellulitis (along with the antibiotics). The Dr. still says we might be out before the weekend, but we will see. She is still on the Neupogen shots (17 so far this cycle). In a perfect world, cycle #7 would've started today but her numbers are just taking a long time to recover. Her platelets were 30,000 today, as opposed to 60,000 yesterday. That is low, but not too low so they aren't giving her any today. They are probably waiting to see what they will be tomorrow to see if they go up or down.
The doctors did find the heart protectant which is good and bad. It may protect her heart some, but it also can cause cancer itself and is not good for her. The doctors at our clinic all seem to agree that the Doxyrubicin should be given (at least some of the dosage), but we are still not convinced. Clint is worried Summer will always have heart problems and never be able to do things that require a lot of physical exertion. My mom also thinks it might be better to skip it rather than put Summer in any more danger. I'm not sure what I think, but I do want to keep my daughter and in the best possible shape I can. So, we will wait to see what the Muga scan shows next Friday. I doubt we will get the results that day though. Who knows? We might because I think they are wanting to start cycle #7 the day after Labor day which would be the next working day.

Summer seems to be feeling even better today. She actually told me this morning that she was ready to go home. That says a lot for her because she usually dreads the port deaccessing so much she wants to stay forever. She has watched her new movies over and over the past two days. She just can't get enough Caillou or Barney. She has been coloring too which is more than she has done all week. Mostly she has just been watching cartoons or sleeping and sucking her thumb into a state of grossness. She does give it "breaks" though. LOL They haven't been long enough to take away the soggy skin look though. It is pretty funky.


P.S. Not to freak anyone out, but stock up on Theraflu NOW because I heard there was going to be a shortage this fall due to swine flu. That is what the Dr. will tell you to take when you see the first symptoms of flu anyways. Of course, you may not have an immune compromised child, but if you do have a child please be careful in where you go with them because the germs are out there and they are much more at risk than us as adults. I'm also trying to get enough food in my house where I won't have to go out for the next few months....at least not much. I think I am banning myself from restaurants, at least with Summer. Maybe altogether, if I can handle it. I am also going to try to shower and sanitize after I go places so as not to carry germs back into my house. Wish me luck because I am not good at being a homebody!

Quick stat update

Summer had gained almost 2 pounds since Monday (31.7 lb). Her white counts were at 10.1 and her ANC was around 5000 which is definitely enough to stop shots and start back on chemo. We actually stopped the shots on Wednesday (last one). We are ALL always happy when it is that time again. Too bad she always has to start them back the day after we are done with her inpatient chemo. Her platelets were too low to start chemo, but not low enough to get any more at 53,000. Hemoglobin was acceptable at 8.5. Hopefully, those numbers will continue to get better over the weekend so we can get cycle 6 started.

We should be going in on Monday for admission with chemo starting on Tuesday which, btw, is the day my best friend will be giving birth to little Harper. I've already got my relief planned so I can be there to hold the new baby when Selena (and everyone else) is tired of her. LOL Wish me luck! I'm sure there will be no shortage of free arms.

Thank you for all of your prayers! Please pray for all the kids with cancer as there are so many who are suffering. Oh, and have a great weekend!!!

Platelets today, blood tomorrow

We are at the clinic now waiting on platelets. Her white count is .2, platelets are 17,000 and hemoglobin is 7.?. So, she will need blood too. They are going to wait and give that to her tomorrow though so she doesn't get too much fluids going in. That is fine with me because it takes about 3 1/2 hours to get blood and only about 30 minutes for the platelets. Of course, that is when they get here.

So far still no fever. She is starting to get nauseous I think. Last night she had a bite of chicken noodle and gagged it right back out. Today she is hungry, but she says her belly hurts really, really bad. She keeps trying a bite of different foods, but nothing seems to be good enough to keep her eating it. One bite is usually all she will eat. Except for M&Ms. She has had that along with 1/3 of a Pop-tart today. I am thinking it is nausea and not actual pain. Her belly has been hurting less than usual, so that is good. Maybe we have a good medicine regimen going for that. She is still on Zyrtec for allergies and Zantac for belly pain. I give the latter to her in lemon yogurt every morning, along with probiotics. She is also on 1/2 a serving of Miralax a day. I have not been giving her the Doc-o-lace they put her on last week to help soften her stool. I think the Miralax is doing a good job and she can't swallow the co-lace pills anyway. The shots are still going too. Looks like we will probably be on them until next week at least. She still doesn't like them too much.

She is in her "infusion room" now watching Barney. It is one she hasn't seen before, if you can believe that. She has now added it to her Christmas list. Oh yeah, she's already got a list for Santa started. LOL So far we have "Fly me to the moon," "Alvin & the Chipmunks," and now Barney "Round and round we go" on it. I can only imagine how big the list will be by December. :) I am thinking there is something else I am leaving off, but I will wait for her to remind me. We have also watched "Alvin & the Chipmunks" at the clinic this morning. I am hoping the platelets get here soon so we can get out of this place and go see my aunt. She is hanging at the pool today and we might just join her. Summer won't be able to swim though because they are leaving her port accessed since she has to come back for blood tomorrow. Right now she is fine with that because, as you know, she doesn't like for it to be deaccessed.

Tonight she is going to play with her cousins while I go play Bunco. I hope she is feeling up to that visit since she is kind of on the puny side now. They usually perk her right up, so I am sure she will enjoy it even if she isn't feeling great. I am hoping she does not get a fever this cycle, but if she is I hope she gets it soon. We are supposed to go to Lake Winnie with Lana's Love on Sunday. She hasn't been since she was a baby and I think she will really enjoy it. Of course, that might be too much to ask. We have had a rather uneventful past two weeks. However it turns out though, we will deal.

I want to take a minute to thank all of my faithful commenter's. I really do appreciate all your support, kind words and virtual hugs. You guys always lift me up when I am down and just knowing you are there rooting us on is nice. I am also grateful to those of you who pray for us. We are so lucky to have such a wonderful support system. Thank you all!

Logic Works

Summer is still not feeling good. Last night she emptied her stomach (those words just makes me smile) twice. Once around 1:45 a.m. and again around 2:30. Summer moved to our bed after the first time and luckily made it out of the bed before the second time. We moved to the couch at some point after that where we slept until about 8:00 a.m. Surprisingly, I slept pretty good snuggled up next to her unable to toss. I did move to the love seat once it was daylight so I could give my other side its turn. LOL

She is still laying on the couch. She has drank a glass of green tea (with fiber & probiotics) so far today. Yesterday all she had was two glasses of green tea and a cup or so of ice. I told her she needed to take a Benadryl, but she refused. I explained to her that it would help her to not feel like she was going to throw up (I hope). She still refused saying she didn't like it anymore....it used to be her favorite. But, when you are nauseous from chemo, your favorites are sometimes your worst enemies. :( Anyways, she finally sat up about an hour after I offered it and said I'll take it. She still hasn't taken her belly or allergy meds. But, I know if I force them, she will probably just throw up which is so NOT what we need right now.

The shots are back on. Today's shot seemed to take forever. Clint administered it while I held Summer who wasn't "ready yet." This is only #2 of this cycle. Last time she had these meds, she was on the shots for 16 days. It is shorter for the odd # cycles. I hope her counts start going up soon. She already looks like they are really low. She is kind of a pale yellow color with dark circles. It sounds worse than it looks, but when she is just laying there, sometimes I just get lost in her face. That is why I also know that she has 3 eyelashes on the right and 8 on the left. They are hanging on for dear life it seems too.

She is half way through her chemo treatments with only 4 cycles remaining. That is assuming it does not come back. I read that her type of cancer (rhabdoid) usually comes back within the first two years if it is going to. I really don't want to start thinking about that, but I can't help it at times. I think she will be having a scan soon, but not sure exactly when that is. I haven't actually heard that she is getting scans from a doctor, but according to her road map she is due a CT after the 4th cycle of chemo. It is crazy that it has been just over three months since we started this whole saga. Now we are just living life day to day, never knowing if she will be sick or well. It's a good thing no one ever told me life was fair....I'd be really mad at them right now.

Please pray that she will get her appetite back. I am scared we will be going inpatient soon if she does not start taking more in her mouth than she loses from it. We go back to clinic tomorrow for counts which I'm pretty sure will be none. They will also see if she needs any blood or platelets. Her counts aren't supposed to bottom out until mid to late week, but I have a feeling they are pretty close to there now.

Still no poop!

Summer had a fever of 101.6 an hour or so ago, so I am not sure if that means we are in for another 48, but it might. :( She still has not pooped. Getting her to take her stool softener is still rough. I really wish she would just take it, but it seems like most of the time we end up in a stand off. Her refusing and me telling her she will take it. It can get pretty ugly and that upsets me. I wonder if this will ever get easier for her. I have tried explaining to her we have to do what the doctor says, but sometimes she still doesn't want to. She doesn't think the medicine is working because she still hasn't pooped. If she does not see immediate results when I tell her what a medicine is for, she assumes it isn't going to work so why take it. She is really smart, but of course not smarter than the docs prescribing the meds. I just wish they could figure out a way to get the poop out. They don't want to mess with her butt at all because oncology kids don't heal very well since their immune system is shot. So, the risk of going that route is too great. Tomorrow I am hoping to get with a Dr. to see if there is anything else we can try. They did another x-ray of her belly today, but we won't get the results until tomorrow because their is no pediatric radiologist on the weekends. In the meantime, the belly pain continues.

She is wanting to eat, but I think her mouth sores are hurting her....along with her belly. She will take a bite of something and then say, "My belly hurts." I also noticed her wince a little like she was in pain when she tried to chew up a frosted mini-wheat. :( Despite the new reward/sticker chart I made the other day, we are still not getting 4 swishes a day in. We are doing better though.

She is still on the shots because her numbers are still low. Today she had to have platelets because they were only 13,000. They wait until they are below 19,000 to them to her. I found out a normal person has 130,000-400,000. Thankfully, it is a painless process. Her hemoglobin was above 10, so no blood was needed. They usually wait until it drops below 8 to give her a transfusion.

We had a nice picnic lunch outside today despite the heat. Summer didn't eat much, but she did ask for a hot dog and cheese sticks. She tried both, but only ate a few bites.

This trip to the hospital has been no fun. She has rarely felt like playing and I have been down in the dumps myself. Where did the fun mommy go????

The last thing I wanted to mention is that her beautiful, long eyelashes are about half gone. She has been rubbing her eyes a lot again today. I'm not sure if the eyelashes are getting in them or what, but wet washrags are her friend.

Please continue to keep us both in your prayers. Pray that God will give us the strength to continue on fighting the good fight. There are lots of frustrating moments where I'm sure Summer and I both just want to throw our hands up in the air and give up, but that is not an option. We will beat this thing. We have to.


P.S. I finally did win at Spider Solitaire. Longest winning streak: 1 Longest losing streak: 32 :D