A great start

This year is off to a great start. We ended 2009 with friends and started it with them. Yesterday, we went to do our last Christmas exchange of the year with the Lynch's. We also had some awesome BBQ pork butt. When I told Clint was were here having, he said it didn't sound too good. But it was! Summer and I loved it. She loves just about any kind of BBQ - pork, chicken or beef. Baked beans are also on her "loves to eat" list. Today, at Chuck E Cheese, she wanted a salad instead of pizza. Sure enough, all she ate was cucumbers, tomatoes, a cracker and a few bites of black olives. For breakfast she had a mini ice cream sandwich followed by an orange. She begged me for a grapefruit, but I didn't have time to cut it up and wait for her to eat it too.

I was trying to get her out the door. Then, we had a major shoe meltdown. "I can't decide," she would say. "I wanna wear boots, but...." Oh my. It really tried my patience. I was equally frustrated because no shoes I picked felt good to her. Drama queen. I am thinking of shrinking the shoe supply therefore eliminating the need to choose. You have one pair, you wear them, right? Not sure I can bring myself to do that seeing as how it will be a complete waste of about 6 or 7 pairs of shoes that will be too little in a few months. But, we won't have that deciding problem. We are getting better about the clothes choosing. She still has the option to dress herself most of the time, but I still won't let her wear something out of the house that completely clashes like what she wanted to wear yesterday. Just because the pants and the shirt both have butterflies on them, does not mean they match or go together. Try telling that to a 3 year old. :) I wouldn't trade all these moments for anything though. They are just growing pains. The struggles and meltdowns are just part of life. They are normal.

Speaking of normal, it really does seem like everything is back to normal with Summer. No more worrying about going places for fear of her getting sick. While, I still do not want her to get sick, her immune system is working and should be able to defend her against the normal everyday illnesses that may be going around. I am so thankful to have a snotty nose kid. Although buggers are gross, I am not worried that we will land back in the hospital at any moment. I am so glad those days are over. She rarely complains of leg or foot pain anymore so her muscles must be taking up slack for any nerve damage she sustained from the chemo. PTL! Everyone always asks how she is doing and I say, "She back to being a normal kid." Feels good to be able to say that.

Her hair is looking like it will be darker, at least on the sides of her head. For some reason the top still looks blonde, but it could just be wishful thinking on my part. She's got a super fuzzy head now, but you can still clearly see the scalp and it has been two and a half months since her last treatment. Her eyelashes have definitely already surpassed mine in length. I guess it is a good thing I don't have to bat mine at the men anymore. LOL

This year I want to continue to live for the day, making the most of every one I have with her. That will mean lots of playing doctor or LPS or house or whatever, but aren't we always wishing we could be a kid again? I guess I still can as long as I have her to bring me back into the world of play. Let the games begin!!!

Home and healthy

We are home. Summer is still feeling pretty good. She has been active today playing with me and Katie. We played hide and go seek earlier which I have decided is fun and almost like a workout. We played the other day with Daddy at the hospital too. :) Now she is taking a bath in the jacuzzi tub with Katie. They had some bubble fun and hopefully I got a good pic of Summer with bubble hair. I was hoping to get pics up tomorrow, but I don't think it is going to work out that way. Most of my pics are on my other computer and I haven't been on it in days. Every day that goes by, more pics are being taken for me to choose from. Gotta preserve these precious memories as she grows up!

She hasn't eaten much today. She had 2 or 3 bites of a hot dog, one bite of pretzel, 4 or 5 bites of chicken, 2 grapes and about an ounce of chicken noodle broth. Not enough! But, she did eat something so I am not going to fret too much. I forgot to see what she weighed this morning when they weighed her. I know she was down to at least 33 when we left, maybe lower. We are a little overdue for a Zophran, but I will get her to take that after I finish this. Then we also have the 1st shot of this cycle. I've already heard an "I don't want to do it." Fun, fun.

Hopefully, she will still be feeling good tomorrow so we can all go out for a birthday lunch.

Feelin' Fine

Summer is at the hospital playing with Memaw right now. My mom has been SOOOO AWESOME over this past year. Well, really the past 31, but who's counting? She makes sure I get a good break everyday at the hospital. My aunt Leisa, her sister, and my dad have also been coming to help out. Summer loves them all and I never worry about leaving her with them because I know she will be spoiled to the max while I am away.

Her ANC was 280 today; white count was 1.0. Her platelets were 24,000 so she got a bag of those today. That is her third platelet transfusion this week (one blood). She may be going home tomorrow if the ANC goes up to 500 and she is able to take the oral antibiotics. They are going to try a capsule instead of liquid antibiotics. I can just empty it into some yogurt and hopefully she will eat it like a good girl. No pouting or whining I hope, but that is wishful thinking for sure. She will have to take it 3 times a day to finish out the 10 day treatment for the staph infection.

Her mouth sores seem to be all gone and she is eating pretty good. Yesterday, she ate 1/2 of a soft taco supreme minus the lettuce. She also has eaten lots of sliced turkey over the past few days. My aunt Sandra brought her some cupcakes today and she ate on one until it broke. Then she was done with it. She's had a PB&J everyday for the past three days (at least half of one anyway). I am so happy to see her eating good and feeling good. She looks good too. She has a little over a week left to "feel good" before the next cycle starts. We will still be staying close to home and away from people. Gotta keep her as healthy as we can. We may have some special outdoor activities though. I see a trip to the lake in our future. I just hope God sees it too.

Blood today

Summer got blood today. Her platelets are still above 70,000 so she didn't need more of those. She hasn't ran a fever since yesterday evening so I am hoping we will get to go home tomorrow. Of course, I'm not getting my hopes set too high.

Tre came and spent most of the day with her. They had a good time watching a movie and coloring. My mom got off work a little early and came by to spend some time with her too. I am so lucky to have those two in my life and so is Summer.

It has been a rather uneventful day which is nice. After Mom & Tre left, Summer and I watched Barney's "Night Before Christmas" video that I brought from home. We had a slight dispute over whether or not Baby Bop and BJ are dinosaurs so we called her cousin Leah to see what she thought. I think Summer was really just being silly by not believing it, but whatever floats her boat is fine with me. She really is a silly little girl at times. I guess she gets it from me (or my mom). Clint is definitely more serious than us. She is currently sitting on the bed coloring with a blanket over her head, talking to the crayons. LOL

Her belly has been hurting her today which is not unusual. She hasn't eaten too much today- french fries, nutty bars and chicken noodle soup. Oh, and two bites of cheese stick. It's better than nothing though so I'm not complaining. Wish I could lose my appetite for a few days....then again if it takes cancer for that to happen, I'd rather not.

Enjoying life & the great outdoors

We have been enjoying life outside of the hospital, trying to take it easy and not get a fever. :) The past few days we have been lots of outdoor places: tricycle rides around the block, bike rides, Coolidge Park carousel, playground, local zoo carousel, Nightfall. We stopped for ice cream yesterday after the playground. Summer got strawberry with sprinkles, but only ate a little. The rest is in the freezer where it will probably remain until I cave and eat it. Wish she liked cake batter ice cream. :) She woke up this morning a little after 7 wanting to go get ice cream again. Today she wants blue ice cream. I think it is cotton candy flavored which is not my favorite, but I guess it isn't for me. It's for my little princess.

She has been dressing herself this past few weeks. She likes to pick out her clothes and shoes. I usually let her, even if it is a little mismatched. She still looks adorable sporting her own style.

Today during lunch she told me "Mom, you're the best cooker in the whole wide world!" I live for those moments. She enjoyed the spaghetti, especially the fact that I did not cut up the noodles. She likes them long. For breakfast she had some grilled chicken with BBQ sauce. She has also had a few baked potatoes with sour cream since we have been home from the hospital. She thought she wanted Garlic Chicken pasta a few times, but the flavor is not in her palette right now. Hot dogs are still a go at times. She hasn't been eating much, but she is trying and has not been throwing up so that is always a plus. She has been drinking pretty good so I am not worried about her intake at this point in time.

She just came and invited her Daddy to a tea party. He said "ok", but I have a feeling he wasn't really thinking when he said that. LOL

Summer's favorite movie right now is Care Bears II. It is cute and I can remember watching it with my sister when I was a kid / teenager (all those years are kind of running together at this point). She has watched a few episodes of the Big Comfy Couch on YouTube this week which was a nice treat for her. She has really missed it since they took it off PBS.

She has been listening to her Ipod quite a bit lately too. I put some new music on it while we were in the hospital. Her favorite song is "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus with "Rockin' Robin" being her 2nd favorite. She looks so cute with the Ipod in hand, headphones on, jamming to her favorite songs. I can't wait until she learns all the words to "The Climb." I can see us singing it together at karaoke some day.

She is growing up on me. These past few months she has really aged, more than I would've wished. But, she is growing up into a wonderful person - loving, polite, and kind. I am trying to instill give/take values into her too. You can't always get your way, sometimes you have to let others have a turn. I know she still thinks it is better to receive than give at this point, but hopefully that won't always be true.

I'll finish up with a cute thing she said the other day when we saw a train. I said, "I wonder what is in the cars." She replies, "Maybe toys."

She got a bolus

This morning there were trace amounts of blood in two of her urine samples, so they gave her a bolus to flush her out before starting chemo today. These drugs can cause your bladder to become toxic which in turn damages the bladder. More than likely this is a minor thing and not something to be overly worried about. They are going to give her Benadryl after the Iphos. but before the Etop. today (that's chemo slang....LOL) The Iphos. is the one that can cause seizures, but the side effects do not generally start until after it is all infused and the next drug is started. I am SOOOO happy they are pre-medicating her today. It is no fun to sit and watch her body convulse for an hour. I hope her thumb is not in her mouth yet. It really needed a few hours to air out. It is looking kind of funky which is really par for the course. Summer told me this morning that we need to soak it in water. Of course, we'll have to put some Epsom salt in there too so it can do its magic. I doubt we will ever get around to that though. It depends on how it looks when we get home tomorrow. Her cooperativeness plays a part too, but if it is really hurting she will usually do what's best for her thumb and let it soak.

She was on the tricycle again this morning with Paw-Paw in tow when I left. I'm glad she felt like riding some before chemo started. It is her exercise, and yes SHE did call it that. :) It is also good exercise for whoever follows, especially when you add in some walking lunges.

She had some Frosted Flakes with milk for breakfast, but not too much of it before she was "full." Then she drank a carton of OJ & Miralax. She still has not pooped since Thursday. I can't believe it, but it must of been all the cheese on the sandwiches???? When we get home we will get it all straightened out though I am sure. On the other hand, she wants me to bring her tomatoes and balsamic vinegar when I go back to the hospital (she gets this from her Daddy). We'll see if she eats any though.

Last night (in the evening) she was conscious and fidgety and seemed to be uncomfortable. I called the nurse and asked if she could have some Benadryl. Then I asked Summer if she wanted to go to sleep or stay awake. I told her they could give her medicine to help her sleep and make her feel better, but she grunted that she wanted to stay awake. She doesn't talk very much when she is on these drugs. About all you can get out of her is "I need to pee." Maybe a nod or a head tilt. And, that's what I got. When the nurse came, I told her I asked Summer and she didn't want to sleep. Since she didn't seem too uncomfortable or fidgety, I let her just lay there beside me drifting in and out of sleep. And, of course, giving that thumb a good sucking. She had a pretty peaceful night and slept really hard wetting her panties a few times. I noticed that she is not peeing as much at one time as she usually does on this cycle: 150-200 ml vs. 300-400 ml. Don't if that has anything to do with the blood in the pee, but just wanted to make a note of it while it is still in my head.

As always, please keep praying and sending positive vibes our way!

She's twitchy

Today has not been the smoothest day for Summer. She started twitching and jerking during the administration of the last chemo drug. They didn't want to really treat her twitching while the drug (Etopside) was being infused so they would know how bad of a reaction she was really having. After it finished, they did give her some Benadryl to take the edge off. It helped her to be able to fall asleep and stop twitching so I was happy after that. Kind of nervous before because there was nothing I could do but sit, watch and try to reassure her she was okay all the while feeling completely helpless (and scared) on the inside. I just kept waiting for it to go to a full blown seizure, but it didn't. PTL! One more day of this drug and we are done with it until cycle 8.

Last night she wanted some California rolls after opening a piece of mail from one of her angels. Her angel mentioned that she was going to California and that set Summer off on the "I want some California rolls right now" spill. I didn't expect her to eat them if we got them, but I tried to get some from the cafeteria. Guess what??? They only serve those on weekdays. So, I called Daddy to see if he could help us out and bring some seeing that we only live a couple of blocks from a sushi place. We finally got him to come and she gobbled them up, all but one that is. I was amazed. She really didn't want the avocado or crab meat out of them, but she enjoyed the rest. I guess those two things didn't match her palate last night. She also had some apple juice which was great because I was able to get her Miralax in her via that.

Today she hasn't really had much to eat. A few bites of yogurt and some OJ is about it I think. Oh yeah, and the last California roll. :) That was all this morning pre-chemo.

She is lying here next to me now sucking her thumb into a very bad condition. I'll just say the skin is coming off on some parts. Ever faithful Teddy is in her arms giving her the comfort that only a stuffed bear can. She looks beautiful. I just can't wait until she beats this ugly disease.

Please pray for her and all the other children out there fighting for their lives. I also encourage you to go to your local blood bank and give blood or platelets if you can. Summer needs them both regularly and she is not the only one out there. Remember, it is better to give than receive.

Cycle 6, Day 2

She is sleeping peacefully beside me as she finishes up her chemo for the day. When I started to eat lunch (spaghetti) about an hour ago, she threw up. So I guess the sight of it made her nauseous.

Last night she weighed 33.4 pounds which was up from about 32.5 the day before and 31.9 the day before that. That is awesome! She hasn't eaten anything but a few bites of yogurt today. She also had about 6 or 7 ounces of orange juice, about half of that came back up. I doubt she will be up for eating anything else today. More than likely she will sleep the rest of the day, but maybe not. My aunt is coming to give me a break in a bit and I hope she brings a book. I kind of feel bad leaving her here with Summer just sleeping, but I do need to get out of this room for a little while.

Earlier, she was hoping to go out and ride the tricycle after her chemo was finished for the day. Now I'll be surprised if she gets on it at all today. She was on that thing a lot yesterday. She can go really fast now and you can't drag your feet when you follow her pushing the IV pole.

Please pray she rests peacefully and doesn't empty her stomach anymore today. She's such a trooper and is so blessed to have so many praying for her. Thank you all!

Cycle 6 is underway

Summer was admitted to the hospital yesterday. Her platelets were up to 94,000, her ANC was about 1700 (from my calculations), and her hemoglobin was 7.6. She is getting blood today to bring her hemoglobin up. The "normal" range is 11.4-13.9. She will not get it until this afternoon a couple hours after she gets her first dose of chemo - Carboplatin. She gets it over an hour. Tomorrow, Sunday and Monday she will get Iphosmafide and Etopside which are the "bad" drugs in my opinion. Of course all of the chemo drugs are good and bad. They are all poisons/toxins, but they help to kill cancer so she needs them. The drugs she gets over the next three days kind of mess with her mind which can be pretty scary if she is awake. Well, its scary when she is asleep too. Thankfully, they keep her pretty sedated after she gets them so she will be mostly sleeping for the next few days starting around noon (give or take an hour). I already have a few people lined up for relief everyday so that is AWESOME!!! I will be forever grateful to them for letting me keep some of my sanity. What isn't already lost anyway. LOL

Summer was riding the tricycle when I left this morning. She has had the best time on that thing the past two days. Last night we went to the rooftop garden after my mom & Tre left. She wanted to ride the tricyle, but it was hard because they have artificial grass out there which doesn't allow for smooth sailing. The hospital halls are a different story. I don't think I've ever seen her have that much fun on a tricycle. She rode it for about 30 or 45 minutes straight. She kept telling her Barney shoes to go faster. It was funny! They have a few "hills" in the hallway which are really her favorite part. She almost crashed a few times (they are not that steep) which made my heart pound and hers too. But, those were her favorite times. She absolutely LOVED them. Haven't seen her enjoy herself so much in a while so I am really treasuring those memories right now.

Not sure what the rest of the day will hold for her. But I see a few games of "Pretty, Pretty Princess" being played. We played twice last night. I won the first time and she won the second. Of course, I think she took a few extra pieces here and there in that second game. :)

What she wore grocery shopping....avoiding looking at the camera as usual.

She has been eating great the past few days. I have made a couple of middle of the night grilled cheese sandwiches. Then she would get up and eat them for breakfast too. I doubled the cheese in each one. Can't have too many calories!! She got up this morning at 4:00 and told me she was done sleeping. I cut on cartoons and told her I was going to keep sleeping which she seemed fine with. She also said she was hungry and asked for an Oreo which she ate half of. A few minutes later she was ready for bed again. PTL! Her food palette really changes all the time. She will get stuck on something and eat it for days. Then never again. The other day she wanted these snacks when we went grocery shopping: Oreos, cupcakes, cotton candy and peanut butter crackers. She also wanted some rice krispy treats, but I didn't know what she was talking about. She kept asking for the stuff with the marshmallows so I should've figured it out, but all I could think of was hot chocolate and that wasn't it. Oh well. I think my aunt is bringing her some tomorrow. Did I mention how I love visitors????

We went to the zoo the other day with some friends - Alicia, Liliana, & Laila. We also had Lexie with us. It was fun even though Summer got bit by the pony at the petting zoo. He barely nipped her elbow. The bite could have been mistaken for a nibble from my mouth it was so small. Luckily, she forgot about it after we left that part of the zoo (as had I until now). I think Summer's favorite part was the carousel. She wanted to ride twice, of course.

Please pray that the next few days will be uneventful for Summer. Can't wait til Tuesday! Then cycle 6 will be over.

Sleepover in Summer's room

Summer and I had a sleepover in her room last night. I thought it might be easier than hopping out of the bed a million times and going into her room to calm her. It was easier since I was right there and she often went right back to sleep, but her bed is not nearly as comfortable as mine. I think I will start off in my own bed tonight. She did wake several times to pee and to complain of her belly hurting.

I am really hoping she will feel better soon. It seems like she wants too, but she doesn't so far. Of course, she has become a littlewhiny little girl lately. All she wants to do is lay on Mommy. LOL Well, it's not really funny. I am enjoying her warm and snuggly body, but when you have to carry her to the bathroom with you and let her sit on your lap while you pee, it might be a bit too much Mommy lap time. :p

She is still not eating very much. My mom has suggested I make her work for her lap time. Well, not work, but eat. I am going to try this today, if necessary, but hopefully she will just want to eat on her own. I REALLY do NOT want to end up back in the hospital before Monday. That is soon enough for me. That being said, she HAS to eat today. She has been on Zophran since Sunday pretty much around the clock. We have never given it at home before since it is not a cheap drug, like Benadryl. But, since her nausea seems to be lasting longer than before, I decided to get a prescription for home. Thankfully, it comes in a tablet form that dissolves on her tongue. I am also grateful that Summer does not hate taking it. Once I get her mouth open, lol, she doesn't complain about taking it. I heard it has a strong aftertaste, but it doesn't seem to bother her. I think it is actually easier for her to take than the grape Benadryl tablets.

I also got her Zantac in her yesterday via one spoon of lemon yogurt. And, that's all she ate of that. She told me she couldn't take it and that I needed to get a throw up bag. So, I told her if she needed to throw up she could, but she was going to try to take it. After a little coaxing, she did. She did gag, but still managed to keep it down after taking a few sips of apple juice.

The rest of her diet yesterday included about 5 bites of an ice cream sandwich, 1/2 a fudge round, a little broth, 3 sips chocolate milk, 2 ounces of water, and about 6 ounces of apple juice. Not much, but hopefully enough. I am keeping a close eye on her so she doesn't get too dehydrated.

I know the light is just around the corner. We just have to keep looking for it and try to do it with a smile on our face. That is not something that is easy to get Summer to do right now either. She seems very sad and miserable. I told her if she smiles, it will make her feel a little better. Still no smiles. She always was one to want instant results and if they aren't, then "it doesn't work." Please pray that God will lift both of our spirits.

Just a little morphine

Last night, Summer woke up in a terrible fuss. She was crying and wouldn't stop. She said her belly hurt (all over). She said her feet hurt (???). It was hard to get her to calm down. The nurse wasn't sure if she was having an allergic reaction to the Vancomycin because her face was red and splotchy, but she was crying. So, she went to get her Benadryl and called the resident. They decided a little morphine might make her feel better (since that is the only pain medication they give through IV and she won't take anything but Tylenol orally). She was calm by the time they gave it, but it must have helped because she didn't wake up again for hours and was in much better shape when she did.

Her fevers are dwindling which is great. We are not sure if the belly pain is due to hunger or what. I know she is hungry because she tells me she is, but she just can't stomach more than chicken noodle soup broth, a few sips of sprite and cupcake icing. One of dad's sisters, Granny and a cousin and her boyfriend brought over some cupcakes yesterday morning along with a few jelly biscuits. The only thing Summer touched was the icing, but that IS something! It was nice of them to come visit and made the morning pass more quickly. My sister came in the afternoon and was going to spend the night with Summer, but Summer awoke from a nap, vomited and started crying for me. My sister called me and I came back to the hospital where I was needed. They said she looked so much better after I got there. It is amazing what a mommy's touch will do. My sister still stayed the night with us and is in the bed with Summer now. I left the room to blog so they could get a little more rest without having to hear me typing.

My mom's sister came on Friday night to give me a break. I was surprised Summer agreed to stay with her since we don't see her very often, but she did. They had a good time and when I returned Summer's long nails were a pretty pink, just like my aunts. :) My aunt brought her a little bear wearing scrubs and a mask (like Summer has to wear sometimes). Yesterday, Summer asked me where the bear's port was so I had to draw one on him with a pen. LOL

I am not sure when we will be going home. Maybe tomorrow or Tuesday, but I wish it was today. We were supposed to go to Lake Winnie with Lana's Love today, but it looks like we are going to miss it. I think that they are waiting on her to start eating again before she can go home. I SOOOOOOOOOOO hope that is today, but I know it is all in God's time, not mine.

High fevers

Summer has been running a high fever since yesterday. I think the highest it got up to was 102.9 under her arm. So, that's almost 104 if taken orally. Too bad the mouth sores (or maybe just a tired of being poked and prodded little girl) aren't allowing us to take it in her mouth. This is the highest I remember her fever ever being. So that makes me think it may be something more than just being neutropenic this time.

She finally ate something at 10:00 last night shortly after she vomited (for the first time that day). She hadn't eaten since lunch the day before so I was glad to hear her ask for something even though I was ready for bed. She drank most of the broth of the chicken noodle soup she requested and had a few sips of Sprite in between. Before that she had only drank a little water and about an ounce of apple juice all day. Good thing they have the fluids pumping into her.

Yesterday was an extremely long day for me. We were in the clinic from 8:30 a.m. until almost 3:00 p.m. waiting on a room. We initially came in for blood, but she didn't even start getting it until 4:00 yesterday afternoon. I was a little frustrated by this seeing as we were just sitting around all day waiting. She did get a dose of antibiotic (for the fever) around noon, but that was it. She needed her Neupogen shot too which I told them, but it never arrived. When we got to our room, I told the nurse and she got it for us. (btw-Ms. Linda is an awesome nurse!!!) The funny thing is the clinic was SOOOOO slow yesterday. I bet they didn't see 10 patients all day and they had 3 nurses. So, not sure what was going on, but I hope next time they are a little better at getting things done and not just waiting until we get a room to do what we came in for. Especially when we show up first thing in the morning. I mean we could've just stayed home and waited until a room was ready rather than twiddling our thumbs all day (well, not actually). :(

She got sick again around 2:30 this morning. It amazes me how good she is about puking in the appropriate place, especially since she is only 3. I guess she can feel it coming on and lets me know so I can grab the puke bag. She is usually holding Teddy when the urge hits and somehow he has managed to stay clear of all puke. Of course the first thing I do when I realize what is about to happen is remove Teddy. Lord knows we don't want him puked on cause he is a real comfort to her. That and her left thumb. Not sure what she would do without either of them.

Today is the funeral for Jayden. My mom is planning on spending the night at the hospital with Summer tonight so that will allow me to go pay my respect to his family. I know it will be hard, but I feel it is the right thing to do. If it was my kid, I'm sure I would want others to be there. So, I am not going to take the easy road and skip it. I just hope I don't get a turn at burying my child. Life would be so dark and gray then without my sunshine. Please keep Jayden's family, as well as all the kids with pediatric cancer, in your prayers. God doesn't need to hear specific names to answer prayers. He knows who they are.

Light at the end of the day

Summer has finally attempted to eat. This evening she had 25 spoons of chicken noodle soup broth. She also had a few bites of popcorn. Yay! She has drank tea and water today so I am thinking she is okay in terms of hydration. NO vomiting since 2:30 a.m. She has had 3 doses of Benadryl today so maybe that is helping her to not be so nauseated. She slept a lot today though so maybe it just helped to sedate her. Still hasn't taken her belly or allergy meds. She wants me to mix them with water, but I know that would taste terrible so I'm not even going there.

She complained of a headache a little bit ago. She did yesterday too. She says it is in the back of her head, at the base. Guess I'll mention that to the doctor tomorrow although it is probably just a side effect of the chemo. I found out that Ifosphamide is derived from mustard gas. Scary, huh!?! It was in this video which I ran across while youtubing with Summer: Chemotherapy Video. Summer is on all three of these drugs not in the same combination as the patient in the video, but still the video says a lot, painting a somewhat scary portrait of chemotherapy. Unfortunately, it is scary.

Not to leave on a bad note, here is a video that reminds me that miracles are possible....it also brings tears to my eyes, but I have been told it is okay to cry. McKayla Keelan has been cancer free for 1 year - same cancer as Summer, but stage 4 instead of 2. Anyways, thought I would leave with a brighter video than I started with. Through God all things are possible!!!

Chemo Cycle #4

To our good fortune, we are in a "big" room. This is the same room we were in for the last even numbered chemo cyle (which is the same drugs as this cycle). I am having a few flashbacks, but hopefully it won't be the same or as bad. I am scared of this cycle the most though. It messes with her brain and she kind of gets lost in her head and then eventually sleep. Thank God for sleep! I really need some myself right now.

Summer is done with chemo for the day and doing great. She received a drug called Carboplatin over 1 hour around 11:00 this morning. She's been on Zophran every 6 hours since 2 a.m. So far, no visible side effects.

She is eating like a champ. Chili is the food of the day. She passed up her Frosted Flakes, saying her belly hurt. Then I remembered the chili I left in the clinic fridge the day before. When I mentioned it, she wanted it. She even let me leave her to walk over to the clinic. It is crazy because some days she won't even let me walk down the hall to get a cup of ice. Anyway, she wanted the chili so I went and, luckily, it was still there wrapped up in a bag with Summer's name on it. Yay!!! She ate most of it (which I had added a spoonful of fiber to) for breakfast, but then at lunch time finished it off. She wanted more chili. I had brought a can of chili beans from home, so I found a can opener and she ate almost the whole can. I think I am supposed to be bringing her more chili from Krystal, but I'm going to call and make sure before I head back. Tomorrow is chili day at the hospital cafeteria!!!

She also had chocolate ice cream this morning which is a first. Usually she just takes the one bite, and is done with it. Today, since we have a "big" room, I put it in the fridge instead of the garbage. At home, she likes to eat ice cream sandwiches for breakfast after she takes her meds in a crushed up bite. She has also been enjoying those heavenly cookies our neighbor gave us too...working on the last one - a pink fish. :)

Her weight, 32. 5 lbs. or 14.8 kg, is an indication of just how much she has been eating since we got out of the hospital. I am so happy because although she might lose a few pounds when she is not eating, she can recoup quickly. The decrease in appetite usually occurs when her counts drop, I think. She hasn't been very nauseous like she was the first cycle. Or, she is just better at controlling it. I am still trying to figure out the pattern, and there probably isn't a "perfect" pattern, as can be evidenced in another little boys journey with kidney cancer. I have been following his mom's blog, and her mine, for a few months now and I am so very fortunate for how much we are NOT in the hospital. Please pray for them. His name is David.

Maybe writing all the details here will allow me to piece it together eventually. That is if I actually had time to sit down and analyze it. Or, wanted to. I have more important things to spend my time on....like my daughter.

"My belly hurts"

I have heard Summer say those words numerous times over the past week or so. She doesn't really have any other symptoms and is still a rambunctious 2 year old despite the hurting tummy. Yesterday, I decided to take her to the doctor since I also noticed her urine seems a little dark. The doctor didn't really tell us anything, but they are doing a culture and should call tomorrow hopefully. Either way we have to go back in a week for another urine test. In the meantime, I am not really doing anything for her belly because I don't know what to do. I do know that it is a good time to get some good cuddling in. :)

We have been on the go all day and she was asleep when we got home about 20 minutes ago. I carried her to her bed and she asked me why she has to take a nap. I told her because she was sleepy and she said she wasn't, but laid her head down and drifted back off to sleep. I know she is gonna be hungry when she gets up because on the way home she asked if we could go to another restaurant. Of course earlier at Longhorns, she was all "I'm not hungry. When are they going to bring the bread?" She asked that about ten times before we actually got any (which was pretty quickly btw). We don't usually order her a meal because at this point in time, she eats it about 10% of the time. So she eats off mine and Clint's plates. Today she had some chicken and a few well-placed (snuck in :) ) bites of broccoli. She ate at least half the loaf of bread with butter of course. She butters it herself if she can help it. She loves bread (and butter), especially the crusts of pop-tarts. I really wish they made a pop-tart without the fruit. She would be in heaven! I tried to give her some grapes with her lunch, but she had already had some (and 2 turkey slices) on the way to the Rush. So we gave the rest to Daddy. She did not want the banana I offered her on the way home from Target either. Rather, I think she would've preferred a Krystal with ketchup and pickle only. :p I'll see if I can get her to go for the banana again on the way to my Jazzercise class in a few minutes. She has to go with me today which will be a nice surprise for my mom & Tre. Then we will come back home and cook some supper. After that, I hope to sit around and play with her until time for Greys Anatomy.

I might even have a surprise for her because she has not wet the bed since we have been back from Vegas! She has had a few dribbles in her panties when she is too involved in something to stop and pee, but she always apologizes by saying, "I peed in my panties, but I'm sorry." She is so cute when she says it. Today I did tell her no candy today since she didn't stop to go pee when she needed to. She took it like a big girl and has not asked for any since. Even when she saw the peppermints (her favorite) at Longhorn. What a good girl she is! Well, most of the time anyway.