A sledding we will go....

Summer loves sledding, and she is lucky we have had so much snow this year. We usually get squat. We took the opportunity yesterday to go to a friend's house who still had snow. On the way there, I saw basically little or no snow except for the heavily shaded woods. But, I kept the faith that my friend was right and there was indeed still snow at her house. We were not let down and had a terrific time sledding. We even got to build a few snowmen. :) That made me happy because the other snowman I built this year was about 6 inches tall. Fun, fun, fun with friends....that's what it's all about!

Summer & Emmy's snowman We all helped on this one

The girls had a blast I just love the joy that sledding brings to faces!

Bedtime Prayers

Last night at bedtime, we were saying our prayers. We usually just do "Now I lay me....", and then I might say a more focused prayer. I never direct her or tell her what to pray for. Last night, Summer wanted to pray first and these were her prayers:

"Dear God, please help all the kids at the hospital to get better."

"Dear Jesus, I'm sad that Russell got sick and died. Now Betty will be all alone and she won't be able to eat with him."

She never ceases to amaze me.

Lovely times

We had a great Valentines day this year. Summer helped pick out gifts for Clint and myself. She got him flowers (Yes!) and picked out a jewelry set for me (Yes again!). I know he was really surprised to see the flowers, but she looked at ALL the Valentine stuff and that is what she ended up with for him. She almost got some chocolate dipped fortune cookies, but put them back and opted for just flowers. I don't think he would've like the fortune cookies any better than the flowers, but they are pretty. I did make sure he got lots of dark chocolate though. :) Summer was surprised at church by a lady who got her a stuffed giraffe and chocolates. She had eyeballed that same giraffe the day before at Wal-mart, telling me how cute it was. Amazing she ended up getting, isn't it? Someone must be watching out for her. She also got a paint craft from her dad and an "I love you" stamper, stickers and a few treats from me.

By the way, her ECHO came back good. Her heart is in good shape and has improved function since the last ECHO they did in August. God is SO good! She still has to go to the clinic monthly for IV antibiotics, but other than that, she is living the carefree life she deserves.

We were hoping to get snowed in at the lake house yesterday, but no such luck. No snow, just a little ice. I guess we should've opted for Memaw's house because she has tons of snow. Summer and I both could use a few more times to sled this year so maybe we'll head up to a friend's house today after a funeral. Tre's dad (Summer's Nanny) died this weekend which Summer was sad to hear. She had made him a card last week and took it to him when she visited him with Memaw and Nanny. It seems that death is all around us, as this is the second funeral we will have attended in the last two weeks (both due to cancer).

She is in the bed coughing now and I can't believe she hasn't gotten up yet. She must have stayed up a little too late last night. I'm not complaining though. I wish she'd stay in bed until at least 8:00 everyday.

She has started a new kissing thing which is really cute. She'll kiss my lips and cheeks. So sweet! Of course, she has been wiping off kisses too lately which is not so cute, but I told her not to worry, I won't run out. :D

NED -- WOOHOO!!!!

The results are in for the scan and they are great! Praise God for letting my baby be cancer free!!! I still don't know how the ECHO turned out, but it isn't as important to me. Maybe I'll get those results tomorrow. For now, I am celebrating the fact that she is cancer free. Yes, I know I am repeating myself, but I'm happy to say those words over and over and over again. I could never get tired of her being cancer free. What a blessing she is in my life. She makes me want to be a better person, a better mom, everyday I am with her. Even when I am away from her as I am now. My mom said she was a pro at all of her appointments today. She only shed one tear during the port accessing and my mom didn't even have to struggle to get her shirt off. Amazing, because that has never happened with me. Usually when I go to pull the shirt up, the struggle begins. Luckily, the guy who did the CT scan goes to our church, so Summer was familiar with him and I don't even think she had anyone holding her hand (or in the room) during the process. I'll have to verify that with my mom tomorrow. I'm so proud of my baby and missing her sooooooo much right now. What I wouldn't do to have her in my arms right now. She'll be getting lots of hugs and kisses when I get home. I just wish I knew when that would be. Maybe tomorrow because Clint says he's done with the treatments, but maybe he'll change his mind. He's only gotten 5 of the 6 doses offered so far (he chose to skip his 10 p.m. last night). Plus, his bilirubin and creatinine are getting high so they might just cut him off soon anyway. He's almost as yellow as a banana. In his mind, he is. He says the banana just looks more yellow because of the brown spots. :p Despite the agony he goes through a few hours after each dose, we have both managed to have a few smiles and laughs this stay. So, for that I am also thankful.

It's that time again

Today is scan day for my little girl. I will not be able to be there with her as she gets her ECHO and CT scan. I'm sad I won't be the one holding her hand, but that just wasn't possible since I'm with her Daddy at the hospital over 100 miles away. Am I nervous? Yep. It's only 6:20 a.m. here, and I can't sleep anymore. There is nothing I can do but sit here and wait. And, worry. I'm going to try to do as little of the latter as possibly, but she is my one and only. There isn't much to distract me here either. I've got a book which I might get lost in for a few hours, but she'll never be far from my thoughts.

I got to talk to her last night and she is sounding like such a big girl on the phone. Her voice sounds older. Why is it so hard to watch your baby turn into a little big girl? Last year, this is the week my baby started having blood in her urine. She was so innocent then, and now she has seen pain and suffering that a lot of other kids will never have to know (Lord willing). Her puffy baby cheeks are long gone. Her excitement to go to the doctor (yes, she was excited last year when we first went to the doctor to see why she was peeing blood) is definitely gone. Today she is hungry, but unable to eat until after her CT scan is done. I guess I am lucky in that respect that I don't have to listen to her repeat over and over how she wants to eat. Oh, but I do wish I was with her. I miss her so much having not seen her since last Friday.

Yesterday, my aunt Leisa took her to Playgym so she could be part of the Valentines party. I asked her if she had fun and she said, "Oh yeah!" Tonight, Memaw and Nanny are taking her to the church Valentines party. I'm missing so much it seems, but I can't be there every moment of her life. I will be back for the official day though so hopefully we will do something fun to celebrate it together. I really hope Clint is feeling up to celebrating too.

Busy having fun

What a week it has been! I've been doting on Summer as much as any mother could. A week away from her really made me miss her, and I've got one more to go. We've been to the playground, discovery museum, visited Thomas and Paw-Paw, done workbooks, read books, colored, played with playdough, played the Wii, watch cartoons/videos, made cookies....it's been quite enjoyable. I'll be missing her again soon so I have been spending every moment I can with her while I'm here. Today we will probably go to the aquarium to see the octopus again before it moves on to the afterlife. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but one of them laid eggs and once it does, it dies within a few months. Even sadder, the eggs were unfertilized so no babies to see. I thought about taking Summer to a movie, but there isn't really anything I think she would like playing right now. By the way, her new favorite movie is "The Cat in the Hat." Not the cartoon version either (if there is one). I am not too sure if I really like the movie. There are definitely a few parts I would cut out that I don't think are appropriate, but overall it is funny. Luckily, her favorite parts aren't those insane ones I'd cut either. We did get to watch a Mommy & Me video we watched together when she was just a baby. It's rather wholesome and fun so I guess it counteracts the other?? Tag and hide-n-go seek have also been there to occupy our time together. She loves these and they are good for the body. :) I don't want to take any days for granted and therefore I try to fit as much fun as possible into everyone.

She is getting so big that it is difficult for me to carry her anymore. Last night we were stuck in a traffic jam for 2 hours during which she, thankfully, fell asleep. I got her out of her car seat and carried her up to our condo, but when we got off the elevator, I was trying to hold onto her and everything else in my hands when she said, "You don't have to carry me." She is such a sweet girl most of the time. So loving. This morning she came to our bed and I gave her a few kisses and waited for us to drift back off to sleep, then she kissed my lips then each of my cheeks then my lips again. To top it all off, she gave me a big hug. Precious moments.....

Scan week is next week and I must say I am getting a little nervous. I know God is control so I shouldn't worry, but I do love her so and don't want to see her suffer anymore. We also will see how her heart is fairing after having all the chemo pushed through it. Too bad I'll be miles away taking care of Daddy. Can it please be next Friday already?

I got my baby back

Saturday around noon, Clint and I headed to my mom's house to pick up Summer. When we got there, the kids were anxious to go sledding again. We bundled up and headed to what I now know as the sledding hill. As a child, I don't ever remember sledding down this hill in particular. We always went for the steep one at the end of my mom's street. Anyway.....Leah, Summer and myself all loaded up on the sled a few times. One time Scratch went down with us. Then we had a snowball fight. What good packing snow it was this time!!! I got to see the snowman they had built the day before which was awesome. We had some chili for lunch and then headed home because Clint was having a little trouble breathing. On the way home, we decided to head straight to the ER so I called my dad to come get Summer. I was so bummed having to give her up when I had just gotten her back. By the time we got home from the hospital, she was asleep in her bed.

Yesterday, we had a funeral to attend. Summer seemed to handle it pretty well. She wasn't too noisy during the funeral, although she did ask me what all the flowers were for. There weren't as many questions as I thought there would be. We even went to the graveside service which didn't bring on a lot of questions. She had fun stomping the left over snow. Before we left, we made our way over to my Pepaw's grave which wasn't too far away. She wanted to know where he was and I said under you. When we got back in the car, she asked what it was like in heaven. Then she told me she is ready to go there. I am soooo not ready for her to go there, but she is all excited to see what it will be like. So much for playing it up, right?

She got a new porcelain tea party set last week. She is serving me right now. I'm on my second cup. LOL It should be a fun day. I just wish I could shake all these yawns. I think I could sleep for a couple of days right now, but I'm sure I won't get anymore until tonight. Here's hoping a nap is in our future!