Rise and Shine!

And give God the glory,glory,
Children of the Lord.

I just had a nice walk on the riverfront, and it was so beautiful outside. All the colors in the sky were reflecting off the water, and it made me wish I was a painter. But, I'm far from that. I do like to try to be artistic, but I just don't think I'm a natural. I have a pile of crafts in a folder for me and Summer to tackle. She is pretty artistic, I think. But, she will not do something that she does not think she can do right. I got one of those little stained glass projects for her to paint, but I have yet to pull it out. We have been pretty busy, but we have managed to do several crafts thanks to all of our friends who have been spoiling Summer to death. I can't take all the credit for that. Not now anyway. :)

The other day she got a package from one of my friend's soon to be MIL that had a monkey project. She wanted to do that right away, but her cousins were over and we were fixing to go to the park so I told her we would do it later. Well, Friday we went to the clinic where the amazing Dr's. and nurses de-accessed her port while she was still asleep (under anesthesia). They also cleaned up other tape residue that was all over her. How awesome is that? When she woke up that morning and the first thing she said was, "Mommy, are they going to take my port out?" To which I answered, "Yes." I'm not sure if that was a mistake or not, but it was followed by 10 minutes of crying about how she didn't want them to take it how. How she didn't want to go to Easter. They could just leave it in. And, so on. It was quite frazzling, especially at 6:00 in the morning, but I managed to keep my cool. I tried to calmly reassure her, but she was insistent that they should leave it in. So, after all of that fun, we headed to the hospital. When we got there, I told the nurse what Summer had said when she got up and how she had actually started talking about it on Wednesday morning. Oh the dread in my little baby girl who hates to have bandages taken off because it hurts. Anyways, they spared her the pain and I am so, so thankful for that.

So after the treatment when we were back home, she got to do her monkey craft. Clint helped her stuff him and she has carried and slept with that thing around all weekend. Well, until last night anyway. Last night she discovered a little pink lamb that my friend's mom gave to her. She also got anther cute animal this week that she really likes it is a duck with some crazy hair. I want to thank everyone for everything. I know I will never get around to writing individual cards because I can't remember everything, but I am truly thankful for everything. Distractions are good and we have had a lot. Summer asked me the other day why people keep sending her cards and I told her it was because they cared about her and were praying for her. She is actually going to get her first Barbie this week. One of my friends sent her one and I have been saving it for the right time. I think this week will be the week she really needs a pick me up. The last time we were at the hospital she wanted to play with Barbies, but I guess they are in the "sick" playroom not the oncology playroom. So, she did not get to. Anyways, I've strayed from my point which was "THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!"

We had a pretty good weekend. A few bike rides, a puppet show, Easter egg dyeing, and Barney. Nothing too crazy. I don't think Summer is really a fan of dyeing Easter eggs. After the first round of it, her fingers were stained with dye which I'm sure bothered her. Let's just say she had it all off, except under her fingernails, when she was done taking her shower yesterday. She washed herself like a big girl, and I dried her off and put her clothes on her. I think she has reverted on the dressing herself. I know she went through a phase where she wanted too and now she is happy to let me help her, I mean do it for her. :p Of course, that goes for eating too. She likes for me to feed her. So, I guess she is still my baby after all.

Yesterday she went back and forth as to whether or not she wanted to spend the night with Memaw. At first she didn't, I think because she didn't feel good. She threw up twice yesterday. Once right outside my car in the parking garage. You could clearly see the sugar cookie and spaghetti. I know you're thanking me right now. LOL Anyways, we went up and got a bucket with water and cleaning supplies and headed back down to clean it up before any of the neighbors saw it. Clean up was surprisingly easy and Summer helped. All day her belly hurt and the only thing she ate was strawberries. I guess I should be thankful for that because they don't really get gross in the belly, at least they hadn't yet. That time it went all in her lap (and almost on my new photo album with our spring pictures which were thankfully spared). That led to her shower. Right before this had happened, I had read about a puppet show at the Creative Discovery Museum that was at 3:00. Well, when she got out of the shower it was 2:57. I told her I guessed we wouldn't go since she got sick, but she still wanted to go. So, we hopped on our bike and raced to the show. We were probably 10 minutes late, but it was easy to follow so we weren't lost. It was a really cute show that one lady did and she is very talented! Summer must have been feeling better after that because she ate a plate of lasagna because I am "a good cooker." :p Yes, she does light up my life. Then she wanted to know when Memaw was going to be here to pick her up. She got her daddy to write the Easter bunny a note so he would know to go to Memaw's house, and I put it on the table. I hope he saw it. LOL

I am excited about the day ahead. Lots of time with family and friends. I hope Summer enjoys the egg hunts. We haven't practiced, but I figure either you got it or you don't. It's not rocket science. I don't think she really cares if she wins anyway. Life is all about having fun and enjoying the time you have with others. Well, I guess to me anyway. I'm sure there is more to it than that, but that is my bottom line. I want to enjoy the time I have on this earth. One thing I do enjoy doing is going to church. I didn't used to be able to say that. I have had a "favorite" preacher for years (who I will leave unnamed at this time). Well, I guess he is my 2nd favorite now since I've been attending my most recent church. Anyways, I didn't used to look forward to going to church like I do now. My favorite preacher, I mean 2nd favorite, is just too far for me to drive (that's my excuse anyway). But, now I look forward to going on Sundays. I really love the church I go to. I am hoping Summer will buddy up to some of the kids at some point, but for now she is still a mommy's girl. Hey, I better enjoy that while it lasts. And who knows how long that will be? One day I'm sure she won't want to sit on the same aisle as me. At least that is how it was when I was growing up. Sometimes we did sit with our parents, but other times we sat with friends. I am just glad I am at a point in my life where I am happily attending a church and wanting to get more involved. I think it is good for Summer too. She likes to hear me pray. At bedtime we usually say, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. The angels watch me from above, God bless me and everyone I love. Amen." Then sometimes I say another prayer. She sometimes likes for me to pray twice. Sometimes she will say it with me. She used to say it by herself, but you know how that goes. :)

I guess that wraps it up. We are off to the hospital tomorrow for our last radiation and our 2nd cycle of chemo. It is an in-patient treatment so we will be getting some good night time snuggling in. That's what I am looking forward to anyway.

Fun-filled days are here to stay

Wouldn't that be nice?

We have spent the past day and a half with my sister and her kids. The kids had a great time destroying the place, of course that is what happens when you have a lot of stuff in a little space. :) Mix that with three kids and you have a huge mess. Funny thing is, I only have one kid and the house is usually still a mess. Can I count Clint as a kid? If so, put me down for two messy kids to clean up after. I just love being the mom. Really, I do. It's one of those thankless jobs that is rewarding in its own way. No monetary reward, unless you get lucky in the the laundry room like I do on occasion. :) But, I'm not sure you could put a price on it any way. I would be WAYYYY expensive! LOL

Yesterday, we started the day off with a walk to the Creative Discovery Museum. The kids always love to go there. Summer hasn't been able to go to her classes in about a month so she was glad to get to go too. She wore her mask with complaining. That was nice because I didn't have to constantly worry about her breathing in all the germs in the air. Plus, she has had a bandage on her thumb for the past two days due to a sore she made sucking it so I didn't have to worry about her hands going into her mouth. YAY! I guess that is the good in the bad. Even though she got the sore, which obviously hurt her if she was going to keep a bandage on it for 2 WHOLE days, she's not constantly putting germs into her mouth. So, maybe this will break her of her habit. I'm not going to hold my breath. Besides, I'd be kind of sad to see it go. It is one of the only things that keeps her my baby. I feel like she is completely a little girl now. No more baby, especially if this thumb sucking stops. Her voice even seems like it has changed. Why do they have to grow up so fast?

After the museum, we walked to the playground. Then, we had to go have ice cream because the Dr. gave Summer a dollar at her appointment that morning specifically for an ice cream. He didn't know we go to Coldstone. LOL I'll take it though. I love Drs. who give you an excuse for getting ice cream. After loading up on suger, we headed back to the house for some indoor fun. We made homemade pizzas which was fun. Leah was especially proud of her pepperoni pizza. I made a beef pizza which Clint finished off as soon as he got home. He said it is better than any pizza he's had besides Lupi's. I think it was better than theirs though. And SOOO much cheaper! Of course I might be biased. :) After that we played with a jewelry craft kit one of my neighbors gave me. We all loved it and had fun creating our own designs. Auntie read the bedtime story and we were all in bed by 9:30. YAY!!!!

Today Summer and I got up and went to her treatment. She is doing really good. She is not looking forward to getting de-accessed from her port tomorrow. I think she asked about it yesterday. So, I know she is already dreading that moment. The worst part (I think) is when they take the bandage off. She does not like for ANYONE to take ANYTHING (that is stuck to her) off. Thankfully, they do make some stuff that makes the bandages come off easier, but it still has to kind of be worked under the bandage. Today they forgot to take the things they hook the monitors up to (with little metal button like centers) off before she woke up. So, she still has two of those on her shoulders. They will be there until tomorrow unless they get stuck to her shirt and accidentally get yanked off like they did the other day. :( It seems like they have different people everyday doing the treatments, so I have to remind them each day to remove all things they stick on her before she wakes up. Guess who forgot today? Yep, me. The anesthesia guy yanked the temperature probe from under her armpit as she was coming out of sedation today. What a way to wake up! My poor baby.

After returning from the Dr., where she ate 1 1/2 "no-icing" pop-tarts, we had breakfast. Then we hopped in the car and went to the River Park where we played on the playground and blew bubbles. I got on the swings with Leah and made myself sick I went so high. Yep, I'm getting old. I wonder what it would be like if I went to Six Flags and rode all the rides??? We picked up my mom for lunch which was nice since today is my sister's 25th (she wishes) birthday. Love ya Sis! After lunch we returned Memaw to work and headed to the Aquarium where I used up my last bits of energy. Then we headed home and said our goodbyes. Then Summer and I collapsed in the bed. I LOVE NAPS!!!

I forgot to mention something funny that happened the other day. Remember that sore on her thumb? Well, when we laid down for a nap a few days ago, she asked if she could suck my thumb since hers had a bandaid. LOL It was so cute! I told her just to suck her other thumb, but she didn't even try. I let her try to put it in her mouth (yes, my hands were clean :p ) but she quickly realized it was too big. And, I'm sure not nearly as tasty.

I'm waiting for her to get up from her nap. Clint is warming up dinner. Man, that sounds funny. Oh well, he got lucky for looking good here. I guess I should get off here and go thank him for fixing dinner (aka heating up the leftover chili from yesterday). I wonder if I can talk him into making dessert too???

4 days to go

Well, 4 more treatments anyway. We won't be done until the day after Easter which is the same day we start our next chemo cycle. Boy are we looking forward to radiation being over!!! We are enjoying another lazy day at home. Radiation was a blast this morning! Right. Actually, Summer decided that today she did not want to take a "nap" at the hospital. Well, of course, she did not really have a say so in this matter, but that did not stop her from voicing her complaints. :) She didn't want to lay down on the table either, which she hasn't on any of our other visits anyways. I always carry her back to the room and sit on the table holding her until she loses consciousness. Today she got to help knock herself out. She pushed the medicine into her line until it started working (a matter of seconds) and then the Dr. finished putting her under. Then they took her limp body from my arm and laid her down on the table to get her positioned for the treatment. She gets a gas mask while the actual prep and treatment are going on. She wears it all the way back to recovery where she wakes up. Sometimes she starts to regain consciousness a little early and tries to sit up on the stretcher. But, the past few times they have given her enough medicine to keep her under until we are in our recovery room. Then we transition her to my lap where she snuggles me for 15-30 minutes. She always seems to recover better in the clinic than in the pediatric surgery recovery room. Lucky for us, we are out-patient this week so we get to recover in the clinic.

This morning she wanted to eat before we left home. Today is actually the first time she has WANTED to eat before radiation. Usually I just wake her up and take her straight there, but she has been sleeping on the couch the past two nights so she woke up when I was getting ready. (another reason I love her sleeping in the back part of our room in her bed) She asked for grapes and tomatoes. LOL Yep, she is back to her old self, for the most part anyway. She ended up eating a pop-tart after her treatment. We are out of grapes and she never mentioned the tomato again. She also just had some chicken noodle soup which seems to be her favorite thing now. We work on a can all day long!

She is still complaining of belly pain, but she still will not take the pain medicine. Today she did stick her finger in a drop to taste it, but she said she didn't like it. Maybe one day she will change her mind, but for now I am not going to force it on her. That wouldn't work anyway and would probably only end up with us both in tears.

We may go see the Easter bunny sometime this week. I showed her the picture from last year which she wanted to keep. Of course she bent it a little so now it is not good enough for her. She is a little OCD when it comes to things being broken or bent. The funny thing is, in the picture last year which was taken in mid-March, she was wearing a tank top and shorts. Today she has on warm pants, a long sleeve shirt and a jacket. Oh, and a toboggan because it is so cold outside! Wouldn't it be neat to have those pics side by side? Well, the day isn't over yet....

She had an awesome day again yesterday. Lots and lots of smiles and laughter. It does a body good, ya know! I am so thankful for days like that. If it weren't for the good days, I don't know how I would cope. I am trying to lean on God to get me through this. He has been there every step of the way. I can see Him in so many things in life, speaking to me it seems. I have never really seen so much irony in life as I do now. I guess it takes something big to make you notice little things in life. There have been so many coincidences in the past few weeks, I can't count them on my hands. I ran across this blog post today. Seems like He is always there, right around the corner waiting to give me a new lesson in life. The key is to LISTEN. That is something I probably need to work on. Did I really say probably? :)

A day of rest

We are chillin' in front of the TV today. Summer's favorite cartoon, "The Big Comfy Couch," just came on so she is happy as a lark in the floor eating her cheese toast and laughing. You know they say laughter is the best medicine. It is so good to see her in good spirits. The past few days have been wonderful. I am dreading next week, but I am going to try not to think about it until Sunday night. Wish me luck with that one....

Here are some pics from the past two weeks.


Summer is very talented. She can watch TV upside down! One minute she's in engrossed in the show...the next she is sucking the thumb avoiding the camera. Did I mention she can clip her own nails?


Stick'em up!!!Paw-Paw is a target! :)Napping with Teddy.Petting bunny at the zoo.She tries to feed it too!Making cookies with KatieFlying a kite - our mouths open in amazement! LOL :p our AWESOME kite

Here is my scripture for the day:

First pay attention to me, and then relax. Now you can take it easy - you're in good hands.

Proverbs 1:33 MSG

I hope you too take time to relax. Don't forget to stop and smell the roses every now and then!!!

Just another "busy" American

Today, it was pointed out to me that our society is a "busy" society. We all have tons of things to do, not really taking time to step back and just enjoy life. We rush from place to place and do all sorts of things. We are always in a hurry to get somewhere. I have heard from my little girl several times, "Mommy, why do I always have to run?" When I hear that, I think about how she must feel always chasing along after me. Why don't I just slow down and take my time? Why do I always have to be in a hurry? Well, life in the fast lane is very fun, although sometime hectic. No time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself or mope about the house. There is always some new adventure around the corner. I love days like that full of fun things to do. Well, this weekend has been no exception. We are/were booked. I did skip an Easter egg hunt this afternoon because I am just so worn out. However, we did manage to fit in church, a little kite flying and a trip to the art museum.

We went to the zoo yesterday and Summer got to pet a bunny. She got a pink basket and we had a scavenger hunt and the kids got eggs and prizes. Willow, Selena and her mom also joined us. We all had a good time looking at the animals who were surprisingly mostly awake. There were a few "scary characters" at the zoo - an Easter bunny and a frog to be exact. At least one of the kids in our party was scared of them. I won't say who it was, but she got freaked out and went straight to her mommy for protection. That being said, we didn't have to worry about losing her during our visit. She was never far away.

We had some friends over for dinner last night. Summer and my friend's little girl, Katie, played great all night. They made some awesome cookies for us after we finished up our lasagna. Gotta love those easy refrigerator cookies. We had Peanut Butter Lovers and Chocolate Filled chocolate chip cookies. They were delicious! Needless to say, there were none left this morning when Summer woke up asking for one. I was exhausted at the end of the day, but glad that we got to see our friends and enjoy life like "normal" people. LOL

Today we went to church. Summer wore her mask like a good girl and did not even try to take it off (unless I was letting her eat something). Which leads me to something I am really thankful for. SHE IS EATING AGAIN!!! Today she has had 3 small bowls of Frosted flakes (with milk), a pop-tart, half a brownie, a fudge round, and a soft taco. Not the healthiest diet, but the doctor said to let her eat whatever she will. I can definitely see an improvement in her appetite. Woo-hoo!!!

She is still complaining of her belly hurts, but she won't take the pain medicine the doctor prescribed. She hasn't even tasted it. I think she is a little burnt out on oral medications. She is taking the allergy pill they prescribed her. She is also doing her mouth wash pretty good for us. I gave her a cotton swab this morning so she can use it to rub the mouth wash in her mouth. She still hasn't really attempted swishing it in her mouth. Of course, it might be hard when you are two. But, she won't be two for much longer.

Her 3rd birthday is coming up next month, and I don't know what we are going to do for it yet. If everything goes perfectly, she will probably be starting her 3rd cycle of chemo the week of her birthday. So, we may celebrate the weekend before. I do know that she wants another Barney cake this year. I may opt for a cupcake cake this time since that would be easier. I saw a cute one at Wal-Mart the other day.

Well, that pretty much wraps up our weekend. I packed in as much fun as possible, but now I am paying for it. I am completely exhausted. This week I am going to try to be less busy and do more relaxing. We do have radiation everyday, but after each one we should be coming home unless she happens to get sick for some reason. So, maybe I will get some rest this week. The week after we will be hospital bound so I am going to need to be rested going into that. I think I am pretty much brain dead so I'll make my way to the couch. Maybe I could get a little snuggling with my hubby in tonight!

One Tired Puppy

Yep, that's me. I am so tired. The nurse woke us up a million times last night. She isn't one of those "hip" nurses who carries a flashlight so she doesn't have to turn on lights either. So, I went ahead and got up and took a shower after she took Summer's blood around 5:00 a.m. That is the first shower I have had at the hospital this week. I am feeling pretty good right now, but I didn't pack any hair products so I'm sure I'll be sporting my usual ponytail again today. Nothing to get all spiffy for anyway. Just another day at the hospital. I was hoping we would be going home today, but it looks like it will be at least tomorrow. The nurse yesterday told me they drew blood and did a blood culture so we have to wait 48 hours after that to make sure there is nothing growing in the culture. Yuck! So much for having a night off this weekend. Tomorrow will make a week we have been here, minus the 8 hours we got to go home on Tuesday. At least I am getting some pretty good cuddling in at night (the daytime too).

Yesterday Summer had an awesome day. She ate, she played, and she didn't nap but about 30 minutes. Not sure that last part is good, but she wasn't a tired puppy all day like she has been. I wonder what today will bring. She has to take the Bactrim this morning so that should be fun. Right! She also has some mouth wash to swish to help heal up the sores in her mouth. We are supposed to do it 4 times a day, but we haven't even made it close to that number so far. Maybe today she will be cooperative. I got some swabs from the nurse so I could try to just swab it around in there, but she decided she'd rather try to swish. That was only after lots of threats of me leaving the room if she didn't stop pitching a fit. Man, this cancer stuff SUCKS!!!!!!!!! We are still on cycle one and I already feel like pulling my hair out. I hope I don't jump off a bridge before December.

She is adjusting okay to having no hair. She has been holding teddy tight with the hand she usually twirls with. I did get to hold her hand a little while we were sleeping last night too. She still has not said a word about her hair. I haven't really put her in front of a mirror because I don't want to freak her out. It doesn't look that bad, but I did butcher the final haircut. Looks like a used a lawnmower after drinking a bottle of vodka. I didn't have either though. One of her friends came to visit her yesterday and her eyes were still swollen from the allergic reaction she had the day before. Her friend didn't really recognize her I don't think. She wouldn't come near her for a while, but I can't say I blame her. She is only 2 too. Thankfully, before the visit was over, they were making puppets together. One of my friends from high school sent a really nice package for Summer that she absolutely loved - puppets, stickers, and jewelry. What more could a girl ask for? Thank you Dusty, Travis and Easton!!! You guys rocked her world yesterday. I am trying to spread the packages out a little so she can really appreciate each one. We have another one waiting at home, but I haven't opened it yet. I haven't really had time because, ya know, I'm not home much.

We will be headed for the last dose of radiation this week here in a few minutes. We have six more after today. Summer is still sleeping away in the bed. I don't wake her until we are walking out the door. I always carry her down to radiation. No wheelchair for my baby. She wants Mommy to carry her. Not that I blame her. I am a pretty awesome carrier. LOL

She also gets another dose of Vincristine today. It is just a push so it will not confine us to the room for any amount of time. Yesterday we went outside again for a while. She wanted to go twice, but the second time we tried it was raining. Maybe this afternoon it will be pretty so we can go get some fresh air.

She is eating again, at least trying to. Some things hurt her mouth. Unfortunately her favorite food is one of them - spaghetti. She had some bread with butter, a few bites of pizza (some she chewed on a second then spat back out on her plate only to pick some of them up and put them back in her mouth - GROSS I know), some pink icing from one of the cupcakes I had to run to Wal-Mart and get them to make while I waited, Cheez-its, a few bites of Fudge Rounds, and one bite of cottage cheese. She also had almost two 8 oz. Sprites. So, that is something to be thankful for. She has her appetite back for the time being, now if only those pesky mouth sores would go away. She is still complaining of her belly hurting. Her eyes are red and raw from all the rubbing. Other than that, she is doing good. She is talking again. Thank you God!

I hope today brings me a cooperative and playful little girl. I never know what I am going to get, but I do still have her in my life and I am thankful for that. Now if only I could find the remote and fast forward to December. Wouldn't that be nice?

Taking a break

Well, I am on my "break." I never really had breaks before unless you consider my mom babysitting pretty much one night every weekend (sometimes more) a break. So, maybe I did have breaks, but they were more like nights out not coming home to take a shower and straighten up the house. I just realized the other day that when I go on a "break," all I do is eat, shower, clean and possibly go to the gym. Sometimes I do cook too. I cooked Clint some chicken the other day and also made some tuna casserole to take back to the hospital. I am thinking my next break needs to be a massage!!! Clint gave me a gift certificate for Christmas and I have yet to use it. Should I stop now and make the appointment???

Well, I'm back from my massage. Boy am I glad I decided to make that call. What a treat!! Now this was a break. I am having withdrawal from Summer though. I feel like I need to be driving to the hospital right now instead of finishing this post, but I know she won't know the difference in a few minutes.

She has just pretty much been laying on me or sleeping for the past day or so. She's watched some TV, but usually drifts in and out of sleep. I feel so bad for her. They are treating all the symptoms I told them she was having. The mouth pain and belly ache. They are probably going to start her on TPN (total parenteral nutrition) so she can get some good calories. All she had eaten when I left the hospital was a little of the bunny cupcake I got her at the bake sale this morning. I'll spare you the details of what I got myself. LOL Anyways, I am happy they are going to be easing some of her side effects at least. I think the radiation has pretty much swiped all energy from her body. Of course, the chemo is doing it too.

I am really scared of the next cycle of treatments because they say the side effects are worse. It is so hard to watch her suffer and she doesn't even really understand why. She felt fine before when she had the cancer and didn't know it. Now, she is being bombarded by medicines that make her feel like crap. Poor baby.

I have been trying to lift her spirits. I sang some of her bible songs this morning. She just listened with her thumb in her mouth. She still hasn't used the Ipod I got her, but maybe she would enjoy listening to that. I'll ask anyway. I feel like that is always what I am doing though. She rarely answers. So, maybe I should just sit there and not try to make too many suggestions??????????? ??????? I don't want to be too pushy. Who enjoys that? I am trying to find a happy median.

Well, that's about it. I'm going to jam out to some bible songs on the way back to the hospital and see if I can't find a nice tune to sing to Summer this evening. We will be in the hospital until Friday at least. Pray for us to have no temperature and for Summer to cooperate with the nurses and doctors. She was pretty good last night and today so maybe we are on an upswing in that department. They have to take her temperature like 5 times a day, plus blood pressure, plus the occasional poke and prod. Can you imagine anything more fun than that? :)

Thank you God for the small things in life!